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Blonde virginity 10/3/2018
How do you tell when a blonde has lost her virginity? Her
crayons are sticky.
0 Comments, 7 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Tax Time 10/1/2018
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells
him that she needs to file her taxes. <br><br>
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll
need to ask you a few uestions." He gets her name, address,
Social security number, etc. and then asks, "What's
your occupation?" <br><br> "I'm a Lady of the night, " she says. ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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monday jokes 10/1/2018
Ok people who can start this Monday off great with some funny
shit??
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
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Kevin had shingles. 9/28/2018
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office
should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more
that physicians are running their practices like an assembly
line? <br><br>
Here's what happened to Kevin: <br><br>
Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist
asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.'
So, she wrote down his ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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Peggy Sue 9/27/2018
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred
had a date with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang
the bell. <br><br> "Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said
as she welcomed Fred in."So, what are you and Peggy
planning to do tonight?" she asked. <br><br>
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a
bite to eat at ...
1 Comments, 70 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Breakfast Order 9/27/2018
An old man goes into Sarasota’s Broken Egg restaurant
and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly
voluptuous waitress, wearing a very short skirt and legs
that won’t quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready
to order. "What would you like, sir?” <br><br>
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top
to bottom, and answers, ...
2 Comments, 62 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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A young woman goes to a bar 9/24/2018
A young woman goes to a bar on Saturday night and ends up drinking
with 5 guys who are roomates. When the bar closed they wwere
all having so much fun that the young men asks her to join
them. As the night wore on she ended up fucking each guy at
least 3 times. So on Sunday morning, she goes to mass and
then confession. She said "Father I have sinned".
What did you do the priest ...
4 Comments, 83 Views,
13 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Lights out 9/21/2018
Joes and Sue had been married for 30 years, and in those 30
years, they always left the lights off when having sex.
He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please
her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years
she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip
the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She
said "I knew it, Joe please explain the ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
13 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Question... 9/19/2018
If we say that guys that are gay but haven't admitted
it are "in the closet, " can we say that lesbians
who have yet to admit it are in the "liquor cabinet?"
1 Comments, 5 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Huge joke 9/17/2018
Your mom.. also some points
2 Comments, 21 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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A trip to the market. 9/17/2018
It was a cool and rainy day but still I had to make a trip to
the market for some thing to eat for the next few days. As
I entered the super market I noticed on the stand right in
the door way some large plastic sleeves. I knew immediately
what they were but couldn't decide why they were in
that location. Sooo I asked the clerk who was working near
by why the huge condoms were at the door ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
5 Votes
,0.53 Score
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Limerick 9/16/2018
There was a young man from Kent.............Whose tool
was decidedly bent......................To save himself
trouble.......He put it in double......... And instead
of cumming he went
2 Comments, 15 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
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sunday 9/16/2018
no better day for a joke than Sunday!! who wants to start??
0 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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bad dating ad 9/13/2018
Male drinks only to excess. Seeking female to cook clean
and for sex. Must have own boat and motor. Please send photo
of boat and motor
2 Comments, 27 Views,
14 Votes
,1.54 Score
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thursday jokes 9/13/2018
ill start, I love my hands because I can always count on them!!
who is next??
0 Comments, 6 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
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thursday jokes 9/13/2018
ill start, I love my hands because I can always count on them!!
who is next??
1 Comments, 10 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Hitchhiker 9/12/2018
A hitchhiker is trying to get a ride. He gets passed by many
cars. Finally a car pulls over to give him a ride. After getting
in the car the hitchhiker turns to the driver and asks: <br><br>
Hitchhiker: "Sir, why did you pick me up when everyone
else passed me by? I mean, what are the chances, really,
that I'm some crazed serial killer?" <br><br>
Driver: ...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
14 Votes
,1.86 Score
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Hitchhiker 9/12/2018
A hitchhiker is trying to get a ride. He gets passed by many
cars. Finally a car pulls over to give him a ride. After getting
in the car the hitchhiker turns to the driver and asks: <br><br>
Hitchhiker: "Sir, why did you pick me up when everyone
else passed me by? I mean, what are the chances, really,
that I'm some crazed serial killer?" <br><br>
Driver: ...
3 Comments, 26 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score
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Hillary Clinton 9/7/2018
A presidential plane crashes, killing the passengers:
George Bush, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton. When the
three get to heaven and meet God... <br><br>
George Bush says "Hello, sir, my name is George Bush
and I was the 43rd president of the United States."
<br><br>
Barack Obama says "Hello, sir, my name is Barack Obama
and I was the 44th president of ...
1 Comments, 79 Views,
14 Votes
,1.06 Score
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Peeing in the snow 9/7/2018
Two families live next to each other. One snowy afternoon
the father of the first family gets the father of the second
family, and leads him behind their houses to see something.
<br><br> "See that?" the first father asked. <br><br>
"What? My 's name in the snow? What boy doesn't
write his name in the snow?" answered the second father. ...
2 Comments, 69 Views,
10 Votes
,2.19 Score
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Mother-in-law gift 9/7/2018
My wife asked what we were going to give her mother for Christmas.
I said "nothing, she never used what we gave her last
Christmas." My wife said "What did we give her
last Christmas?" I replied "A tombstone."
4 Comments, 28 Views,
8 Votes
,1.62 Score
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Hotdogs 9/7/2018
I once heard it said... <br><br> "I don't care if you're the Queen of England
or a skin-flick scream queen, when a woman eats a hot-dog,
she looks like a ." <br><br> Not sure I agree with this one, but it does make you go...
"Hmm?"
2 Comments, 22 Views,
9 Votes
,0.86 Score
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Gorilla goo! 9/7/2018
A guy takes his pet gorilla to the vet and the vet says, "She
sure is small for a gorilla!" <br><br>
"That's funny, that's what my friends
say about my wife!" <br><br>
The man replied.
2 Comments, 46 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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All the wayyyyYYYyyyyyyyYYYYYyyyyyyyYYYYyyyyy 9/6/2018
What has one leg, and can run along way and NOT get tired ?
<br><br>
<br><br>
 <br><br>
<br><br>
 <br><br>
[image] <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
 <br><br>
A **Run** in a Woman*z Stocking !
1 Comments, 32 Views,
11 Votes
,2.98 Score
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Wow thats a lot 9/6/2018
Two women were sitting in a bar talking when one spoke up
and said "Oh, I set a new record today, I screwed a Brazilian
today". "WOW, " replied her friend,
"A Brazilian, That's a lot of screwing."
"I only screwed about a thousand."
3 Comments, 29 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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She couldn't do it, ssssoooo,,, 9/4/2018
A blonde phoned her boyfriend sounding totally frustrated.
She was trying to do a jigsaw puzzle all by herself. Her boyfriend, on receiving the phone-call, told her to
calm down and he'd be over to help her with the jigsaw.
He asked her what the picture on the front of the box was and
she had answered, "It's a big chicken".
On arriving at his ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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Turner Brown 9/4/2018
Skinny little white Irishman gets into an elevator, looks
up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. <br><br>
The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him... He
looks down at the Irishman <br><br>
and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch
penis, 6 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown"
<br><br>
The ...
2 Comments, 51 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
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New and Hopefully ][mproved 9/3/2018
An man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from
the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing
the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" He replies,
" going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, going to get me some of that ...
5 Comments, 68 Views,
17 Votes
,2.98 Score
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Speaka da Engrish 9/3/2018
A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down
and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, But
her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: " Emma come first.
Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more!
. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
10 Votes
,4.18 Score
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Make it back and tell,,, 9/3/2018
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back
and inform the other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to
die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "Sue..........Sue".
<br><br>
Is that you, George?" ...
3 Comments, 54 Views,
11 Votes
,2.98 Score
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