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UpForeU2Play 65 M 155  Articles	Hypnotist at the Senior Center   3/1/2007 It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The ... 0 Comments, 89 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
getdown1st 68 C 213  Articles	Frog!   3/1/2007 There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute, and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving ... 1 Comments, 131 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
rm_1ncendia 27 M 0  Articles	Let's jake a look at lil' John.   3/1/2007 I have somewhat of a problem with , its not that I’ve always had this problem. For a time I actually enjoyed , and let it be known that I still enjoy 2pac and Kanye West, not to mention Outlandish, Jurassic 5 and Dilated peoples… Saying this however, the first thing I said when I burst into this world was not “Excuse me good doctor, would you mind letting me ... 0 Comments, 61 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
rm_1ncendia 27 M 0  Articles	Your guide to surviving the impending zombie holocaust   3/1/2007 So, we all know that we’re going to die, yeah, sad as it is we’re going to be pushing up daisies (providing our feet haven’t been nailed to the perch). Or are we? I have come across recent evidence from a very reliable source (O.K, so there wasn’t a source, I made it up… But aren’t I reliable? No? Oh, O.K) informing me that soon there shalt be an ... 0 Comments, 39 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
rm_bretthg 40 M 6  Articles	chicken farmer and a lady   2/28/2007 chicken farmer and a lady A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!” “What a coincidence, ” he said, “This is a special day for me, I’m celebrating.” “This is a special day for me, too, and ... 0 Comments, 147 Views, 11 Votes ,3.54 Score
rm_bretthg 40 M 6  Articles	Sex in the Dark   2/28/2007 There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her ... 0 Comments, 176 Views, 13 Votes ,5.32 Score
rm_bretthg 40 M 6  Articles	Naughty couple on plane   2/28/2007 Two voices; male and female; seated on a plane “I think everyone’s asleep; lets go” Sound of steps. “This one’s empty … no one’s looking … you go in first” “It a bit cramped - let me sit down” “Have you got the condom? “Quick, put it on” Sniff sniff “Ah ... 0 Comments, 163 Views, 12 Votes ,4.21 Score
rm_bretthg 40 M 6  Articles	Ireland v England rugby   2/28/2007 A family of England rugby supporters head out one Saturday shopping. While in JJB Sports, the picks up an Ireland rugby shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided I'm going to be a Ireland supporter and I would like this shirt" The sister is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother." Off goes the little lad, with Ireland shirt in hand and ... 0 Comments, 70 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
rm_bretthg 40 M 6  Articles	Angelic revenge   2/28/2007 For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. “You’ve been such exemplary statues, ” he announced to them, “That I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want.” And ... 0 Comments, 82 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
rm_bretthg 40 M 6  Articles	Wife and Mistress   2/28/2007 A Catholic husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who was that?” “Oh, ”replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.” ... 0 Comments, 119 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
rm_bretthg 40 M 6  Articles	Charles and Camilla   2/28/2007 As Camilla was making last minute preparations to walk down the aisle, she found that her shoes were missing. She was forced to borrow her sister's, which were a bit on the small side. When the day's festivities were finally over, Charles and Camilla retired to their room, right next door to the Queen's and Prince Phillip's. As soon as Charles and Camilla were inside their room, Camilla flopped ... 0 Comments, 88 Views, 9 Votes ,4.49 Score
rm_bretthg 40 M 6  Articles	long but funny   2/28/2007 Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until, one day, he comes across a beautiful Honda Gold Wing with a for sale sign on it The bike seems even more beautiful than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolutely mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, ... 0 Comments, 83 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
Ask me for a photo couple5971 113,2013 C 44  Articles	Naming Dogs!   2/27/2007 A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two New dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......, " answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!" 0 Comments, 191 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
Ask me for a photo couple5971 113,2013 C 44  Articles	Vaccum in her head!   2/27/2007 A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" 0 Comments, 59 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Ask me for a photo couple5971 113,2013 C 44  Articles	At The Doctor's Office!   2/27/2007 A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The ... 0 Comments, 109 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
Ask me for a photo couple5971 113,2013 C 44  Articles	RIVER WALK !   2/27/2007 There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side." 0 Comments, 43 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Ask me for a photo couple5971 113,2013 C 44  Articles	Speeding Ticket!   2/27/2007 A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then Today you expect me to show it to you!" 0 Comments, 55 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Ask me for a photo couple5971 113,2013 C 44  Articles	Car Trouble!   2/27/2007 A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" 0 Comments, 50 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
Ask me for a photo couple5971 113,2013 C 44  Articles	Blonde LOGIC   2/27/2007 Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking...... And one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Melbourne or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Melbourne...?????" 0 Comments, 45 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
UpForeU2Play 65 M 155  Articles	Room 302   2/27/2007 Anyone who has ever had a loved one in the hospital will enjoy this: A woman called a local hospital . . . . "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse." The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?" "Sarah Finkel, room ... 1 Comments, 77 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	Concerned   2/27/2007 Today local police found a man's body in a park nearby. They describe him as having a Beer Belly, Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a Small Wiener. Let me know you're OK. Your Concerned Friend 0 Comments, 40 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
hotmale2k19 58 M 24  Articles	Little Johnny's Big Story   2/27/2007 Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Karen in an passionate embrace. Little Jphnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself and he ran home and started to tell his mother. "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Karen. I went back ... 0 Comments, 933 Views, 33 Votes ,7.37 Score
rm_kastor1974 45 M 5  Articles	3 samurai's   2/26/2007 3 samurai decide to see who's the greatest swordsman.A judge approaches the 1st samurai and opens a box.A fly comes out, which the warrior instantly cuts in half."Impressive, "the judge says, before walking over to the 2nd samurai. When the fly emerges from the second box, the 2nd samurai dices the fly into equal parts."Incredible, "the judge says. Finally, the judge opens a 3rd box in front of ... 1 Comments, 139 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
dynamicduo20065 50 C 1  Article	short joke but FUNNY!!!   2/26/2007 Thought this was too funny to NOT share! Know why a guy snores when they sleep on their backs??? Answer: because their balls fall down over their asshole and they develope vaper lock. 1 Comments, 117 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
UpForeU2Play 65 M 155  Articles	Stiff Dick   2/25/2007 An Amish woman and her were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." So the did and her hands warmed up. The next day the was riding with her boy friend and he said "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The ... 1 Comments, 121 Views, 5 Votes ,5.43 Score
rm_Sugar22234 56 F 3  Articles	IRISH JOKE   2/25/2007 O'Ryan staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their up stairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket ... 0 Comments, 133 Views, 7 Votes ,5.08 Score
rm_Sugar22234 56 F 3  Articles	WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE.I'M BROKE!! .......   2/25/2007 A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner "Good morning, " said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners" "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!", "I'm broke!" and she proceeded to close ... 1 Comments, 129 Views, 7 Votes ,6.10 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	LESBONICS   2/25/2007 LESBONICS 1 . What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? .. A licker cabinet. 2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? . A Klondyke. 3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? .... Militia Etheridge. 4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face. 5. What do you call two lesbians in a ... 2 Comments, 95 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	TV Guide   2/25/2007 Just to let you know what is on TV next week... ARAB TV GUIDE > > > >SUNDAY: > > 0800 - My 33 Sons > > 0830 - Osama Knows Best > > 0900 - I Dream of Mohammed > > 0930 - Let's Mecca Deal > > 1000 - The Kabul Hillbillies > > > > > > MONDAY: > > 0800 - Husseinfeld > > 0900 - Mad About Everything > > 0930 - Monday Night Stoning > > 1000 - Win Bin Laden's Money > > 1030 - ... 2 Comments, 44 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
lickablelady36 58 C 3  Articles	CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS   2/25/2007 A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were ... 1 Comments, 148 Views, 8 Votes ,4.87 Score